Funatic

The Gamer Chapter 2030 – Upstarts and Upstarts

John had intended to take Ehtra along for this trip. Since he had just assigned her to another front, he had to take another choice of bodyguards. As he was using his real body for this trip, he would also have the elementals with him. It was a massive amount of protection already, but more never hurt.

Aclysia was the first to volunteer. It was the first time in a while that she was willing to take more than short breaks off the task of aiding Rave in the wedding preparations. ‘One could think it’s her wedding,’ John tho...

The Gamer Chapter 2029 – Alien and Upstart

Working with Devos was an interesting experience. The Mite King was simultaneously human and alien. He knew nothing of the world and had many subtle differences to his world view. To begin with, he had a faith, the Way of Renewal he called it, that put his own people into the focus of reality.

Every Mite King was born in a grand, multi-decade ritual. It began with and conceived on a focus of power. Throughout the larval stage, he would then be constantly fed the richest materials the world had to offer, all while crawling on h...

The Gamer Chapter 2028 – Answers and Mysteries

“Interesting… are you capable of opening such gates between worlds as well, perchance?” Devos asked, as he followed them all through the portal and into the Guild Hall.

“Nope, just between some spaces,” Lee answered.

“A vague answer, I respect that.” The Mite King looked around the empty field they found themselves in. “I’m foreign to your world. You must have played with the thought to eliminate me immediately. You must still be considering it.”

“I’m not in the habit of genocide,” John re...

The Gamer Chapter 2027 – Book Bug

This was the third portal John managed to enter and it was by far the most unusual one.

The world was teeming with life, positively writhing with it. White-furred, mice-like creatures skittered about, devouring the fruits of trees whose intensely green leaves hung from silver-grey branches. There was fur on those trees, hairs, that waved in the soft winds. Pale elks peacefully trotted towards a sparkling pond. It had to check on every step not to crush the multitude of smaller lifeforms moving about. Everything moved with resp...

The Gamer Chapter 2026 – Ancient Instincts [Lyndell POV]

Lyndell was paired up with Claire.

This was good. The vampire maid was a bit chatty, but Lyndell didn't mind chatter going on around her. It was when she was expected to answer that matters tended to get exhausting. Claire did not present her with that expectation. She knew the value of silence, of hiding away from the blasted sun and putting Evanescence on just the right volume, not too loud and not too quiet, while sitting in a car.

“Want to stop by that coffeeshop?” Claire asked.

“Yes,” the forlorn woman...

The Gamer Chapter 2025 – Current Year


‘I was wondering when one of those would pop up again,’ John thought. The timing was a bit random, but he wasn’t going to complain. There were no grinding sessions planned, so the EXP reduction wouldn’t impact him too much. Moving the Breeder system out of the Classes and into its o...

The Gamer Chapter 2024 – The First Day of a New Year

Heat. Fat tits. No hair tickling his thighs.

“Salamander,” John groaned.

The apocalypse elemental hummed in agreement. Tight lips glided up his cock until they hit the edge of his glans. Her tongue whirled around the tip of his cock while her breasts wrapped around his shaft. His manhood was bathed in lustful lava. He filled her mouth with his cum before long. A wonderful start to the year.

Shower orgy, breakfast and the harem gathered up for a quick strategy meeting. John was seated in his usual spot, Aclysia ...

The Gamer Chapter 2023 – The Second Hunting of Lee [Erotic Content]

The fireworks crackled still in the distance when John rose. “Time for your birthday present. Lee, stand!”

“Yes, Master!” she declared, jumping to her feet. She blushed once she realized how swiftly she had reacted. “I m-mean… I can do that for you, but just because I want to, dude.”

The Gamer was deeply amused by her pretense that his dom-voice wasn’t pure authority to her submissive, well-trained brain. “You and your little brat energy,” he called her out. “Follow.”

“I have at least medi...

The Gamer Chapter 2022 – A Year in Review

The harem was gathered on the Newman Private Island,  

They had put up a campfire, for no other reason than they could. It was anything but necessary. Rave still had control over the thermostat, though the presence of the nearby lake made the temperature a little more bearable. They were just together there, letting the minutes pass by. Soon, 2019 would come to an end.

“Do we want to reminisce about the year?” Lee asked. “It won’t have a happy ending.”

“It’ll hurt,” John agreed, “but tha...

The Gamer Chapter 2021 – The Titty Appreciation

The last day of the year began like most others: with lips gliding up and down his shaft.

There was no convenient instant clue as to who it was. The mouth was entirely human. The texture of the tongue was normal, the sucked in cheeks smooth, and the temperature pleasantly hot. That ruled out many women, but it also kept a great many open.

There was a greater exclusionary factor in who wasn’t in the bed to begin with. Though they had wrapped up in San Jose, getting back to the Guild Hall was a bit of an endeavour. The g...

The Gamer Chapter 2020 – Another Iron in the Fire

While John was suffering from acute ‘I want to have it all’ syndrome, he was also attempting to help another matter. One that was directly related to the issue at hand.

“I will take another step now,” John spoke into the phone. He waited for a response, though he was already used to there being nothing but anticipating giggles. Meticulously, he raised up his foot, then planted the sole back down one stride further  

“Ah! More!” Layla’s heated voice came through the speaker. “I’m cumhhmhmhm…�...

The Gamer Chapter 2019 – One Mystery Solved

The kiss lasted for one second – which was one second too long.

John managed to suppress his instinct to reciprocate. He pulled his head back, then stared into the still heated gaze of the Dancer. Perhaps the proper reaction would have been to drop her. Instead, he straightened up. When her head was once again level, she blushed and hid her lips behind her head.

“Shouldn’t have swept me up if you didn’t want to get kissed,” she mumbled.

That was the kind of sentence only a woman could get away with and, i...

The Gamer Chapter 2018 – Feisty Latina

Maria Esmeralda Espinosa took the seat where her father had been seconds prior. She revealed a bit of her smoothly shaven leg for a moment, putting the sandal back on her foot, before the length of her skirt covered it all again. “This is the part where you start explaining yourself,” the Latina stated. “I assume your mouth is for more than kissing too many wives.”

‘No such thing as too many wives,’ John almost said in response. The woman before him was powerful, no doubt about it, attractive as well, and she had a...

The Gamer Chapter 2017 – The Family

Observe was, by all accounts, complete bullshit. Without a countermeasure, the target was completely oblivious to it being used and even with countermeasures he had a very high chance of simply punching through. With this tool, John could learn a whole lot about people. Even if he had no real control over what he learned, it was more than most intel magic provided.

He had a name: Sanchez Cruz. He had another name, Maria, though ‘extended family’ made it quite likely that her second name was different. He also had Sanchez�...

The Gamer Chapter 2016 – A Little Bit of Office Time

“Why am I supporting this lifestyle?” the incredibly hot redhead asked.

“Because you actually like it?” John suggested.

A series of noises came from beneath the table that he could only describe as cutely concerning. He wasn’t sure if he was listening to a grumble or an agreeing whimper or some kind of panicked submissive tone. The jury was still out on where the Warden fit in on the spectrum of the latter. John, at least, had a good idea that she was not on the ultra-subby side.

Because she threatened to...

The Gamer Chapter 2015 – Consecration of the First Harem Hall

“Here is so… ambitionless,” Nathalia stated.

It was the 29th of December and their searching for Kingdom gates had brought them to Maryland. Specifically, they were on the eastern shore of the Potomac River, the waterway that led into Washington DC, near a small village called Morgantown.

For the last two days, they had achieved effectively nothing. The other portals they had tried to get to had been closed by the time they arrived. Lee and Nia continued studying the residual energy, though there still wasn’t eno...

The Gamer Chapter 2014 – Aggressive Street Control

Fianna’s report was concerning.

It was only half a page long, summarizing what minor activity she had been noting recently. Except for the second sighting of the man whose blurry photo they had managed to extract before, there was nothing concrete in it. The disciplined maid had left a singular line at the bottom that succinctly described John’s own feeling on the matter: “Either we are dealing with ghosts or someone of immense intel skill.”

‘Knowing Latebloomers, it could be both,’ John thought.

He clo...

The Gamer Chapter 2013 – Capitalists and Vibrators

John walked into the boardroom.

The design was delightfully post-post-modern, something that John indulged in all the more for the pastel hell his Ambassador Double was in. There was overlap between the two, particularly in the choice of materials. Steel and plastic were commonly used, alongside various forms of tempered glass. What separated this office building from the horrid hotel was the choice of shapes and colours.

Instead of bright and neutral pastels, Scarlett had opted for colours that had an air of seriousness...

The Gamer Chapter 2012 – Arrival in San Jose

San Jose was an… interesting place.

John had no love for cities. He said that often and loudly. This one was among the worst and best simultaneously. Often called the capital of Silicon Valley, San Jose was the 3rd largest city in California. John immediately spotted some of the same issues he had with Los Angeles in the form of entire homeless camps forming under bridges and other areas of opportunity.

Once their car had rolled through these poor neighbourhoods, however, he was treated to all of the wealth that was co...

The Gamer Chapter 2011 – Normality in Uncertain Times

[Author’s Note: As a quick announcement, you will see AI pictures pop up more frequently now. This is because I have struck an experimental deal with Monori, the artist whose style I am generating in here, where I pay him a small sum for each picture I put into my works. This clears ethical concerns, as far as I am concerned, and I am thusly more than happy to make greater use of it. I will, however, continue to use links only for AI pictures, so those of you that don’t enjoy this don’t have to click on them.

2025-12-01 18:49:40 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 2010 – Three Steps Behind

Nathalia’s face hovered just a few centimetres over his. Repeated inhales flared her nostrils. Her nose crinkled in disappointment, before she sunk back into her own seat in the cramped car.

“I did apply the cologne,” he said.

“It alone is not the proper scent.” The dragoness crossed her arms beneath her magnificent tits. Caramel flesh pushed up against the gaps left by the unbuttoned halves of her deep red shirt. Seeing such a deep cleavage on a woman with a suit activated several neurons in his monkey brain.

Sho...

Lover's Will Marks

Apparently I never posted these... so now that all are in use.

The Gamer Chapter 2009 – Expectations and Reality [Moira POV]

‘Lord Protector, I come to tell you that… no, way too formal… Father, I must inform you that… sounds like I am bringing bad news. It is for him. It’s not for me though. Should I make this about me?... Father, I wish to bring you the fantastic news that… that what, I am getting ploughed as the 28th woman in the harem of the world’s most famous pervert?’

Moira sat in her private chambers within the large monastery complex of the Order of the Golden Rose. The room had a nostalgic feel to it. Though it was technica...

The Gamer Chapter 2008 – Approaching the Late Game Finale – Individual Assignments

“Alright, so let me summarize.” John looked at the screen in front of him. Not for the last time, he was thankful for modern technology making everything so tidy. What would have been a lengthy effort on and waste of paper could just be done by opening up a tier list creator.


“F...

World Cleanse 2 – Bantering on Decisions

“Alrighty, let’s start with this… Apexus, get over here!” Reysha slipped off the couch and pointed at the seat opposite of where she now knelt. Then, she put her elbow at the table.

The challenge was clear. Apexus moved into the position. “I might hurt you,” he warned. “I do not have a grasp on this strength yet.”

“I like it when you hurt me a little bit.” Reysha licked her lips, the blue of her eyes standing out that much stronger against the black of her sclera and the dark, warpaint-like stripes ar...

The Gamer Chapter 2007 – Approaching the Late Game 53 – Morning Perks 2

“Your turn.” John turned to Ehtra.

“To repeat what the smug creature said: you don’t need to repeat the alphabet back to me,” the grey angel answered, sour as always.


‘Three repeats, Gaia is being a bit lazy today,’ John thought. ‘Then again, why cycle out good options? I like all of these.’<...

The Gamer Chapter 2006 – Approaching the Late Game 52 – Morning Perks 1

John woke up to the hesitant travelling of a tongue over his shaft. There was only one woman who would approach his morning wood so tepidly. “Moira,” he sighed.

“W-what?” the latest addition to his harem stuttered. “If that was bad, you can just say that!”

“It wasn’t bad at all,” he told her. “Inexperienced, yes, but not bad.”

“I’m learning.”

“Indeed, she is,” Aclysia cooed.

Putting in his contact lenses revealed that the first maid was currently lying parallel to Moira, ...

The Gamer Chapter 2005 – Approaching the Late Game Interlewd – An Explosive Release

John backed away, towering above the redhead. She hid her mouth behind a raised hand, but did so poorly. The curled corners were every bit as visible as her hard nipples. The nightgown left nothing to the imagination. Even that was too much cover for not only his liking but that of the haremettes around them. Eyes, glowing with fresh, erotic energy, glowed in the twilight.

He found two pairs of them, one glowing a light pink, the other green with slitted pupils. A gesture of his head called them to his side.

“Tiger rea...

The Gamer Chapter 2004 – Approaching the Late Game 51 – Unattainable Perfection

John knocked on the door. He did not hear anything from the other side, the noise isolation holding strong.

When Moira did open the door, she failed to meet his gaze. Her eyes were subtly reddened. ‘I didn’t take her for the kind to cry,’ he thought. Wordlessly, he followed her gestured invitation. ‘I did take her for the kind that cleans to relax though.’

The room wasn’t spotless, but it was in order. There was something subtly pleasing about the way she had arranged the bed, the carpet, the closet, and the ...

The Gamer Chapter 2003 – Approaching the Late Game 50 – Gifts of the Harem for the Harem

John grumbled something under his breath. Even he wasn’t sure what he had said, he just knew that it was an adequate noise to express his frustrations. None of the women asked him what had transpired. Even the dullest of people could guess correctly.

“Want a BJ?” Rave offered.

“Now?” the Gamer asked, the sudden question getting a chuckle out of him.

“Ya look like ya could use one.”

“I can always use one.” John had to put a hand to Claire’s forehead. The vampire had doven for his crotch bef...