Chapter 74.4- Doom Days

I took a bite of the cake, barely able to stop myself from moaning as the cake seemed to melt into my mouth. I had never had something so delicious.

“Yeah, everyone has that reaction the first time they taste Perenelle’s baking. She can’t cook for the life of her but damn it, my wife can bake better than anyone out there” Nicholas said, whispering the sentence into my ear.

“Can’t cook for the life of me, you said Nicholas” Perenelle said, revealing that she had been able to hear every word.

“Hide me Harry” The old man turned, running around to my other side.

“Don’t even think about it” Perenelle yelled after him, and so they were gone.

“Those two” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“They’re surprisingly laid back” I commented. He nodded in turn.

“Well, I guess after you’ve lived for so long you realise there’s no real point in taking things all that seriously” He said.

“Fair enough. They’ve probably seen everything a dozen times by now” I added.

“Uh uh. It’s been a minute, Harry”

“Yeah. Feels like I only really see you for brief spurts during the day.”

“I see you for like half of mine, but since yours is so much longer, I guess that makes sense. But I wasn’t talking about seeing you.”

“Oh?”

“I meant talking. Like this. We haven’t had the chance to do this in forever” He said.

“I agree. Well, we’d have all the time to do it after I get out of Japan.” That statement had been meant to make him feel better but it seemed to have the opposite effect as his face fell.

“Japan, yes fucking Japan. Can’t forget Japan, can we?” He said, reaching up and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just— Lily is so going to kick my arse when I eventually bite it, you know? Letting you go to Japan? Fuck”

“Well, I wouldn’t really see it as you letting me. I do tend to do whatever I want to regardless.” I said.

“You think I don’t know that?” He asked, voice rising briefly. I lifted an eyebrow. That was an….interestng tone.

“I’m- I’m sorry” e said, scratching at the bridge of his nose.

“It’s just so frustrating, you know. Your parents made me your godfather so I could be there for you when thy wouldn’t and it feels like I fail more and more with every day that passes. It feels like I missed your childhood and got another chance last year, but leaving was a mistake. Because it feels like you’ve grown a decade in the time I was gone. I should have stayed. Damn Fudge, and damn fucking Snape. I should have stayed. I shouldn’t have have gone gallivanting around the continent or anything. Or even if I had to, I should have taken you. Because it feels like you will never forgive me for that mistake. And not that I’m saying I deserve forgiveness or anything. It is perfectly understandable that you don’;t prat me as your godfather or anything. Because I have no acted like it. I’ve disappointed everyone and anyone who cares, haven’t I? That’s why Remus hasn’t even answered any of my owls in so long” He said, the words pouring out of his mouth like a tap that refused to close, and I wondered what I could do to help. Could I even do anything to help?

His conclusions were wrong, of course. But with the information he had at hand, I could see just how he had arrived at them. And to be honest, it was better he thought this way than began trying to look into things too closely.

“Sirius.” I called, but he kept talking.

“Sirius” I tried again. No dice.