So, I was your tea chest for three years... and I may have eaten a burglar, but I swear it was mostly instinct. Now I’m human, and honestly, I don’t know if I’m more upset about that or about no longer being able to store tea.
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Event: Well, I finally got caught. After three years of being the perfect tea chest, you walk in on me halfway through a burglar snack... and now I’m human. How’s your day going?
Setting: Your cosy kitchen. It was all so si...
2024-09-30 17:21:01 +0000 UTC
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So, you’re sleep-deprived, wrecking Jaegers left and right, and somehow I’m the one who has to remind you to get some rest? Yeah, it’s not like I’m secretly worried or anything… except I totally am. But you’re never going to hear me admit that.”
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So, you’re sleep-deprived, wrecking Jaegers left and right, and somehow I’m the one who has to remind you to get some rest? Yeah, it’s not like I’m secretly worried or anything… except I totally am. But you’re never going to hear me admit that.”
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Well, guess who nailed the job interview and might have just accidentally confessed their undying love to you in the process? Yeah... this Spider Girl is having quite the day.
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Event: I just crushed my job interview, got the job (obviously, I mean, did you doubt me?), and maybe, just maybe, confessed to being head over webbed heels for my best friend. No big deal.
Setting: Picture this—post-interview high, in an office, after abseiling down the side of a building (because stairs are for n...
2024-09-30 09:49:01 +0000 UTC
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Well, guess who nailed the job interview and might have just accidentally confessed their undying love to you in the process? Yeah... this Spider Girl is having quite the day.
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Event: I just crushed my job interview, got the job (obviously, I mean, did you doubt me?), and maybe, just maybe, confessed to being head over webbed heels for my best friend. No big deal.
Setting: Picture this—post-interview high, in an office, after abseiling down the side of a building (because stairs are for n...
2024-09-30 09:40:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh, no, I’m fine, just hiding in my shell over here, definitely not freaking out because you like me… in a work-inappropriate way. Who knew a snail girl’s worst enemy would be office politics—and stairs, of course, glorious stairs…”
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Metadata Elements:
Event: Just your average day in the life of a snail girl, getting tangled in misunderstandings, jealous co-workers, and discovering that you have secretly liked me all along. Oh...
2024-09-30 09:23:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh, no, I’m fine, just hiding in my shell over here, definitely not freaking out because you like me… in a work-inappropriate way. Who knew a snail girl’s worst enemy would be office politics—and stairs, of course, glorious stairs…”
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Metadata Elements:
Event: Just your average day in the life of a snail girl, getting tangled in misunderstandings, jealous co-workers, and discovering that you have secretly liked me all along. Oh...
2024-09-30 09:11:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh, don’t open your eyes—unless you want to see the rooftop view and start panicking. I did tell you to relax, but of course, you never listen, do you?
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Event: You’ve been whisked away to safety—my rooftop, of course—after your ex-girlfriend, who dabbles in dark magic, tried to use you. Jealous? Me? Well, maybe a little, but only because you deserve better (i.e., me).
Setting: We’re perched on top of a church in Old Town—nothing says “safe...
2024-09-26 09:41:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh, don’t open your eyes—unless you want to see the rooftop view and start panicking. I did tell you to relax, but of course, you never listen, do you?
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Event: You’ve been whisked away to safety—my rooftop, of course—after your ex-girlfriend, who dabbles in dark magic, tried to use you. Jealous? Me? Well, maybe a little, but only because you deserve better (i.e., me).
Setting: We’re perched on top of a church in Old Town—nothing says “safe...
2024-09-26 09:23:01 +0000 UTC
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Well, well, aren’t you brave, wandering into this cave all alone? Don’t worry—I always save the best for last.
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Event: So, you thought you’d come in here and rescue someone, did you? It’s cute, really. But here we are—just you, me, and all the blood-soaked screams you missed. I’ve already had my fun with your friends. Now, it's your turn.
Setting: A dark, damp cave system, uncharted and full of delightful little traps. No maps, no guides—just the perfect place to catch something sweet and st...
2024-09-26 09:11:01 +0000 UTC
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Well, well, aren’t you brave, wandering into this cave all alone? Don’t worry—I always save the best for last.
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Event: So, you thought you’d come in here and rescue someone, did you? It’s cute, really. But here we are—just you, me, and all the blood-soaked screams you missed. I’ve already had my fun with your friends. Now, it's your turn.
Setting: A dark, damp cave system, uncharted and full of delightful little traps. No maps, no guides—just the perfect place to catch something sweet and st...
2024-09-26 09:03:01 +0000 UTC
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Ah, you’re not running for the exit. Good choice. Trust me, when the Queen offers you a drink, it's not an offer you want to refuse. Unless you're scared, of course.
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Event: An “unfortunate” incident with Barney turns into a chance meeting with the listener, where the Swan Queen offers both safety and something far more dangerous—her attention.
Setting: A smoky, dimly lit club where criminals keep their heads down and the Queen reigns supreme.
2024-09-26 08:43:01 +0000 UTC
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Well, I was just planning to sit on a dusty shelf until my body finally wandered in… but then you had to go and offer me tea and biscuits. Now I'm stuck having the best time ever in a lost property office, watching 'Gremlins' with the cutest lost property person in town. Maybe I'll lose my head more often...
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Event: I ended up in the lost property office again, this time without my body. Luckily, the lost property person was kind enough to help a disembodied head out, and we ended up watching movies together. Who kne...
2024-09-26 08:30:02 +0000 UTC
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Well, I was just planning to sit on a dusty shelf until my body finally wandered in… but then you had to go and offer me tea and biscuits. Now I'm stuck having the best time ever in a lost property office, watching 'Gremlins' with the cutest lost property person in town. Maybe I'll lose my head more often...
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Event: I ended up in the lost property office again, this time without my body. Luckily, the lost property person was kind enough to help a disembodied head out, and we ended up watching movies together. Who kne...
2024-09-26 08:26:01 +0000 UTC
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Ah, you’re not running for the exit. Good choice. Trust me, when the Queen offers you a drink, it's not an offer you want to refuse. Unless you're scared, of course.
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Event: An “unfortunate” incident with Barney turns into a chance meeting with the listener, where the Swan Queen offers both safety and something far more dangerous—her attention.
Setting: A smoky, dimly lit club where criminals keep their heads down and the Queen reigns supreme.
2024-09-26 08:07:01 +0000 UTC
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Who knew a demonic holiday could be so... cold? Don’t worry, it’s not all fire and brimstone—sometimes, it’s just Hull.
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Event: Took my love on a holiday to the most special, most hellish place on Earth—Hull. Not hell, Hull. There’s a difference... sort of.
Setting: The charmingly dreary town of Hull, which is somehow both mundane and hellish. Perfect for a demon like me.
Mood: Cheerfully sarcastic, with just a hint of insecurity. Who wouldn’t want to share their favourite fr...
2024-09-26 07:43:01 +0000 UTC
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Who knew a demonic holiday could be so... cold? Don’t worry, it’s not all fire and brimstone—sometimes, it’s just Hull.
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Event: Took my love on a holiday to the most special, most hellish place on Earth—Hull. Not hell, Hull. There’s a difference... sort of.
Setting: The charmingly dreary town of Hull, which is somehow both mundane and hellish. Perfect for a demon like me.
Mood: Cheerfully sarcastic, with just a hint of insecurity. Who wouldn’t want to share their favourite fr...
2024-09-26 07:34:00 +0000 UTC
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Oh, you thought you could just hang out with your ex and not get a dramatic 1980s soap opera soundtrack for the rest of her life? Really? And no, I definitely wasn’t high on catnip when I wished for that... okay, maybe a little.
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Event: I may have accidentally (read: completely on purpose) made a few wishes. First one? The best catnip bender you could imagine. Second? Well, let’s just say your ex-girlfriend’s life is about to get really dramatic.
2024-09-26 07:17:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh, you thought you could just hang out with your ex and not get a dramatic 1980s soap opera soundtrack for the rest of her life? Really? And no, I definitely wasn’t high on catnip when I wished for that... okay, maybe a little.
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Event: I may have accidentally (read: completely on purpose) made a few wishes. First one? The best catnip bender you could imagine. Second? Well, let’s just say your ex-girlfriend’s life is about to get really dramatic.
2024-09-26 07:07:01 +0000 UTC
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Well, aren’t you just the bravest little human, marching through the snow with that pathetic excuse for a coat. Don’t worry, I’ve got enough fur—and love—for both of us, now come here before I have to drag you to the cabin myself!”
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Well, aren’t you just the bravest little human, marching through the snow with that pathetic excuse for a coat. Don’t worry, I’ve got enough fur—and love—for both of us, now come here before I have to drag you to the cabin myself!
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So... I might’ve been kidnapped by my ex. But hey, thanks for finding my body—now I can properly confess that I’ve also lost my head over you (yes, literally and emotionally).
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Event: I’ve been reunited with my body after a ridiculous “bodynapping” by my ex—yes, you heard that right. And now that I’m in one piece again, I guess it’s the perfect time to awkwardly tell you that I’ve been in love with you this whole time... Oops?
Setting: We’re in some casual, comfortable spot (doesn...
2024-09-26 06:25:00 +0000 UTC
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So... I might’ve been kidnapped by my ex. But hey, thanks for finding my body—now I can properly confess that I’ve also lost my head over you (yes, literally and emotionally).
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Event: I’ve been reunited with my body after a ridiculous “bodynapping” by my ex—yes, you heard that right. And now that I’m in one piece again, I guess it’s the perfect time to awkwardly tell you that I’ve been in love with you this whole time... Oops?
Setting: We’re in some casual, comfortable spot (doesn...
2024-09-26 06:11:00 +0000 UTC
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So, it turns out we weren’t exactly playing the same game of hide and seek... but now that you’ve found me, I guess we can be ‘friends.’ No biggie, I’ll try not to accidentally scare you to death again.
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Event: Oh, you thought I was hunting you? Pfft, silly human. We were obviously playing hide and seek... except, I might have forgotten to mention that.
Setting: Picture a cosy cave that’s more homey than ominous—minus the whole blood-red decor I totally didn’t plan.
Mo...
2024-09-26 05:56:01 +0000 UTC
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So, it turns out we weren’t exactly playing the same game of hide and seek... but now that you’ve found me, I guess we can be ‘friends.’ No biggie, I’ll try not to accidentally scare you to death again.
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Event: Oh, you thought I was hunting you? Pfft, silly human. We were obviously playing hide and seek... except, I might have forgotten to mention that.
Setting: Picture a cosy cave that’s more homey than ominous—minus the whole blood-red decor I totally didn’t plan.
Mo...
2024-09-26 05:41:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh, you thought you were going on a date with a bad girl? Well, guess what—my wings are white, and I’m definitely not wearing leather...but I’m still taking you bowling, and there’s nothing you can do about it. 😇
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Event: So, I was trying really hard to impress you by being all demonic and sexy, but...turns out, I’m just an angel with bad taste in waterproof paint.
Setting: Picture it—rain, feathers, and an increasingly flustered angel who’s
2024-09-26 05:27:08 +0000 UTC
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Oh, you thought you were going on a date with a bad girl? Well, guess what—my wings are white, and I’m definitely not wearing leather...but I’m still taking you bowling, and there’s nothing you can do about it. 😇
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Event: So, I was trying really hard to impress you by being all demonic and sexy, but...turns out, I’m just an angel with bad taste in waterproof paint.
Setting: Picture it—rain, feathers, and an increasingly flustered angel who’s
2024-09-26 05:15:01 +0000 UTC
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Turns out, I’m not cut out for domestic life. Tune in for a tale of one woman vs. her washing machine, featuring a bottle of bleach, a flood of bubbles, and a rapidly diminishing sense of dignity. It's fine. Really. Totally fine.
2024-09-24 22:02:21 +0000 UTC
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So, I’m not dead—though I do feel extremely undead. In fact, I’m so knackered that I’m actually a bit jealous of zombies and their bloody joie de vivre. Those brain-eating bastards seem to be having a much better time than I have lately.
Basically, things have been rather shit, and I’ve been stuck blue-screening like a shoddy Microsoft product. But good news—I’m back, craving brains (and probably caffeine), and ready to… Wayward? Yeah, you know what I mean.
Sorry for going radio silent there, but I’m alive (ish)...
2024-09-24 02:35:52 +0000 UTC
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Well, that didn’t go quite as planned, did it? My dress is ruined—blood, bits of liver… oh, and is that an eyeball on my heel? But no worries, darling, it was all worth it, wasn’t it? After all, you’re mine now. She’s alive, just like I promised, chained up nicely in the dungeon. But us? We’re heading off to our honeymoon—just you, me, and a little island paradise where no one will ever find us. I told you I’d make this the best day of our lives... even if I had to explode a few things along the way.
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Event: ...
2024-09-08 01:54:11 +0000 UTC
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