beanytuesday

A Conversation With My Younger Self

It seems like the 'conversation with a younger me' format has become a go-to for many cartoonists to explore personal issues- I saw a very sappy version of this on twitter and the hateful, spiteful machinery of my soul drove me to lampoon it. I'm not sure most people will even know that's what this is supposed to be parodying, though it goes off the rails enough to stand on its own without that knowledge, I think... though the comic is also reliant on an understanding of Chapo, Kaiji and Grape Ape- the "Holy Trinity" of my personal brand. (n...

Bad Enders Chapter 2: Pages 6-10

Read the new pages  here!

In case you missed them, read pages 1-5 here 

Enjoy, or don't

My Personal Top 10 Favorite Comics I've Made [Patreon Exclusive]

Eugh- a top 10 list? Have you mistakenly wandered into the official patreon of freaking Kotaku? No, you aren't mistaken. I've made over 100 comics at this point, and thought this might be a good opportunity to share some of my personal favorites- my own tastes may vary wildly from what the fan consensus is, after all. This will also act as a good opportunity to reflect on some past comics I haven't had a chance to comment on yet. So, if you'll indulge me for a moment, here we go- the comics themselves will be hotlinked, with the com...

The Coronavirus Debate

There isn't really any clever jokework here, obviously- just a low iq bit of timed political satire. Surely, with this double-sided blade of a comic I have fully lopped off the heads of both parties in one fell swoop. Of course, the 'both parties suck!' shtick has been around for decades, but I felt the need to make this after it seemed to mutate into a remarkably grotesque form after this latest pandemic, where so much has been laid bare- Democrats literally herding the elderly into the slaughterhouse just to drive a nail further into the a...

I Was Just Trying To Help

This sort of goofy, bugs-bunny-ass slapstick is a little bit out of my usual wheelhouse, and is another gag that might work better as a one-off joke in a sitcom. Alas, I don't have the resources to make that happen. Maybe someday!  Comics are my preferred medium, but I think I could potentially have success with short stories or screenwriting/directing as well, so long as comedy is in the cards.

There is a little bit of trickery here, of course- The title itself acts as a secondary punchline, the true meaning of which is only reve...

Bad Enders Chapter 2 (Pages 1-5)

As promised, I will be uploading the pages of the new Bad Enders chapter in chunks, as it is being drawn. You can read it here.

I'm posting it separately in case people don't want to be spoiled on it, and to preserve the image quality. When the entire thing is done (will likely be around 90-100 pages) it will be uploaded to the public as a pdf. 

Don't understand what the hell this is? Read chapter 1 2020-03-27 22:03:54 +0000 UTC View Post

Guide To Whole Foods

Ah, joking about Whole Foods in the midst of a global pandemic- this is the sort of thing that would be topical during the Obama-era Daily Show. Whatever! If there are jokes to be made, I'll make them. You get what you get and you don't get upset!

This comic was the product of a brainstorming sesh during quarantine- typically I don't actually sit down to brainstorm ideas, they will just come to me during work or a stroll outside (obviously no longer an option.) During which point I made a perhaps obvious realization- the vast majority ...

Gal Gadot and Friends Sing "Imagine" During Coronavirus Outbreak

This is one of those ideas that is satirical, sure, but also leans heavily into absurdist imagery; its jokes like these that I'm unsure are quite as funny outside of my own head- the concept could be improved by providing proper context, movement, and comic timing, such that I think it might be funnier as a skit, for example. 

I would really like some way to illustrate the goofiness of this heroic, godlike being descended to a choir of trumpets to this blasted hellscape, saying nothing, then belting out some Pavarotti- type shit, ...

Four Futures For The Ambulance

This was sort of an amalgam of a few different jokes: originally, the entire comic was going to be about the technocratic future, as I thought the idea of watching ads to subsidize your ambulance was pretty darkly funny; however, I couldn't find the perfect advertisement to depict visually to make the beats of the joke work. However, in this format the bulk of the joke is text-based, and I had an easier time describing with words a type of advertisement I thought would be darkly funny to see before you die. This is probably the case with mos...

Inspiring Celebrity News

Is it punching down to make fun of a rich hollywood celeb for being ugly? Maybe. But I'd like to think that this comic takes more shots, or at least is intended to, at the utter artifice of hollywood glam, both in terms of the ridiculous, absurdly expensive outfits people lose their mind over, as well as the insane hollywood bodies that require a salaried personal trainer and who knows what else to maintain. And then you see someone like Adam Sandler walking around wearing XL jerseys and shorts, and you think...well, if he DID fly on epstein...

You just moved into a house with a bunch of punks. Meet your new roommates [Patreon Exclusive/unfinished]

This is a comic I had been working on for a while- having only 4 people seemed like to small a survey to really capture this demographic in a satisfyingly full enough way, but I spent weeks trying to think of other funny characters to no avail. However, I think the material I have is funny, so I didn't want to put it to waste. 

This comic is perhaps a little more mean spirited than usual- but as someone who has spent a little bit of time mingling in the local music scene and roaming the various punk rocker territories of my home c...

Going Viral [content warning]

I am of two minds on this joke: on the one hand, it relies heavily on topical internet humor and crude sex jokes, two things I'm trying to wean away from, but on the other, it also holds an undertone of bleak satire (or at least tries to). There's a quote from Rocco Botte of Mega64 that I always come back to as part of my philosophy towards comedy; its something to the effect of "its easy to take add bits of comedy into something serious, but its more impressive to take something very silly and add serious/emotional impact to it". I'd like t...

Queer Representation at Disney

I hope the compression doesn't fuck this up too badly. 

This was obviously motivated by Disney announcing their new "first openly gay character" the ugly ass cyclops with no lines. Its an issue that pretty much everyone is one the same page about, but there is a lot of material to work with re: gay characters in mainstream children's media, so I went with it anyway. 

The current media meta seems to be including ostensibly badass girl characters for feminism points, before applying a last minute girl-on-girl kiss with mi...

Billionaire Mindset

I had actually thought of this original little bait-and-switch joke before I ever thought to make it a political allegory. There was another version of this comic where the politician turns to the worker and says "That could be you one day, if you just work really hard" and then reveals in the last panel that he was, of course, referring to the person on her knees. 

I went with this version, though, because I think the metaphor for the fellatio metaphor better applies to the neoliberal political class, utterly subservient and ideo...

Introducing: The Beany Zone Discord Server

2$ Patrons have probably noticed a little something; since several people have requested it, I threw together a patron-only discord server! I am relatively new to using discord, so please bear with me. Hopefully I haven't made a terrible error. 

The Poster's Fortune Teller

I always worry if comics like this, so heavily laden with topical internet concepts and lingo, will drag me down as creator. People already classify my comics as 'memes' because the art is simplistic and they are posted online to be shared, and I suppose posts like these won't help me get taken more seriously as a comedian or cartoonist. But on the other hand, what am I to do, NOT make jokes about the very things in front of me? Absurd.

Whenever I make a comic like this that is a large list of jokes with no inherent order to them, ther...

A Comic About White Liberal DNC Centrist Democrat Hillary Women Type Fuckers

This was made, of course, in response to the backlash against Rashida Tlaib daring to boo Hillary Clinton. I don't think I need to elaborate on why that sucks, people smarter than me have probably written about it.

My favorite joke here is the 'hot sauce in my bag swag' refrain- truly a bizarre gaffe from the 2016 election, and probably my favorite, better than anything Trump said. I love the idea, as seen in this comic, of it being used as a sort of Lord's Prayer for Hillary stans- to be repeated to oneself as a form of spi...

A New Genre of Movie

This comic idea came to me in the middle of watching Knives Out, and it sort of wrote itself from there. A tried and true recipe for comedy: familiar thing we know the details of (mystery movies) + a humorous modifier (sex jokes), twisting the familiar into a goofy version of itself and subverting our expectations of the familiar. There's more to it than that, of course, but once you have that basic premise the potential joke opportunities will branch forward in front of you.

I think I probably rely on sex jokes more than the average i...

Guide To Online Misogyny (not an instructional guide)

Originally, the comic was going to include a little bar chart or something for each category that would display the levels of "Irony" "Rage" and "Smarm" with reddit high in smarm but low in irony, twitter high in irony and medium in smarm, and 4chan high in rage and irony. Ultimately, there wasn't really enough room, and I think the illustrations are funnier, so I left it out.

4chan's proto-incel theories about women have always fascinated me in a perverse way; I used to browse the /r9k/ boards like some sort of online anthr...

Patreon Exclusive Comic: Bad Enders En Morow Side Story

Wow! Who is he? What's his deal? Well, thanks to Patreon's horrendously bad image compression, you'll have to find out  here!  

Working Retail

I am unsure of the strength of the original joke here- it isn't particularly clever, and would probably work better if it was seen acted out in person with the subtleties of real time delivery, instead of as a comic. I decided to go with it, though, because: 

1. I think the comic could make up for it in relatability

2. I was nice enough to include a second, more absurd and goofy version (although seeing customers simply chant "discount?" like the birds from Finding Nemo is actually not an uncommon occurrence, in my experienc...